The Sky is Falling! The SKY is Falling!!!

Another one bites the dust. As you've probably heard, Kevin Faulk plead no-contest to misdemeanor marijuana possession on Wednesday. This comes just a week after the Patriots parted ways with special teamer Willie Andrews after he pointed his (illegal) gun in his girlfriend's face. That's the third Patriots player brought up on charges since The Game That Shall Not Be Mentioned, and everybody is saying one of two things, "Those Patriots sure are depressed about that loss! Look how much crime they're committing!", or "The Patriots are turning into a bunch of thugs because they got too cocky and started taking bad character guys"

Now I admit the timing of these incidents is suspicious, and my initial reaction was that it might be from some type of hangover from one of the most hyped NFL seasons ever. Let's look into the matter a bit closer shall we? Here are the incidents that have happened since the Super Bowl on February 3rd:

-Willie Andrews – February 5^th, 2008
Arrested for marijuana possession, ½ pound in his car.

-Kevin Faulk – February 26^th, 2008
Cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession, 4 joints in pocket at Lil Wayne concert.

-Nick Kaczur – June 4^th, 2008
Arrested for illegal possession of OxyContin pills, then helped in sting operation on dealer.

-Willie Andrews – June 30^th, 2008
Felony charges for illegal possession of a large capacity firearm and assault with a
dangerous weapon.

Let's address the Willie Andrews situation first. Andrews was a player who fell to the 7th Round of the 2006 draft despite being considered a speedy (4.38 40-yard dash) kick return specialist and DB, mostly because of character concerns. In '02 Andrews was sentenced to 30 days in jail for misdemeanor gun charges, which came just months after he was put on probation for "misdemeanor criminal mischief".... whatever the hell that is.* "Oh ho!" you might say, "I told you they were taking guys with character issues!" Yeah, except Willie kept his nose clean during 4 years of college in Texas(!!) and the Patriots only took a flyer on him in the 7th round, paying him a relatively measly $400k a year. He also stayed out of trouble for 2 full seasons before acting like an idiot twice in a 5 months span. The Patriots didn't make excuses for him though, they promptly cut him. He blew his chance and he's gone. Doesn't seem so bad to me.

Next comes Faulk. Back in February he was doing what any good Louisiana native does in the off-season... heading down to the Cajundome to see a Lil Wheezy concert. Security stopped him on the way to his suite for a "random search" and found 4 joints on his person. Now, I've never been to one, but I'm pretty sure they hand out 4 joints to anyone attending a Lil Wayne concert as they walk in the door. Either way, he passed a drug test so he won't have to go into the NFL's substance abuse program. His penalty? 40 hours of community service and a $300 fine plus court fees. At a Wheezy concert, it could have been much worse. At least he didn't make it rain.

The only story here that actually worries me is Nick Kaczur. Weed is one thing, but Oxy's no joke, and according to the Boston.com report, "Kaczur has told authorities that he had been buying oxycodone ... every few days in batches of a hundred since November 2007." Now, we can assume Big Nick wasn't taking 100 Oxy's every few days, because he's not dead... so that means he was either A) lying, or B) distributing. Considering all the pressure on the team this year, it's not out of the realm of possibility that players started taking intense pain medication to dull any pain that would keep them off the field. I hope this isn't true, and I hope the SB XLII collapse wasn't a result of built up fatigue from ignoring all the pain, but it's certainly a possibility. Let's hope that, either way, this arrest will keep anything like that from happening in the future.

Here's my real issue with all of the coverage of this situation. The Patriots are now part of the NFL stereotype as a trouble-making, image problem-having organization. Off-season arrests for misdemeanor charges for drug possession and DUI's pour in, and people roll their eyes and say "there goes another NFL thug." While I can't deny these crimes are occurring, and I can't defend their actions, I don't really feel the reputation is well deserved. To see why, let's look at the number of active roster spots in each of the four major sports (yes, I'm including the NHL):

Active Roster Spots by League:
NFL: 1696
MLB: 750
NHL: 690
NBA: 360

That's 1696 active NFL players to 1800 active MLB, NHL, and NBA players COMBINED. If it seems like more NFL players are getting arrested, maybe that's because there are so many more guys representing the league! I have a feeling if you took a sampling of seventeen-hundred employees from any field... be it engineers, lawyers, journalists, etc... odds are there's going to be enough morons in a group that large to make the group as a whole look bad. That's just the way the odds work out in our society.

One more reason I can see for seemingly high NFL arrests? The down-time. Not only do NFL players have the most time between games, they also have one of the longest off-seasons. In other leagues, you don't have as much time to go home and goof off, plain and simple. Any time you combine the amount of money these guys make with the amount of free time they have to go spend it... bad things are going to happen. Just look at what actors do when they're not making movies. Again, I'm not defending the crimes, just trying to explain why they seem to happen so often.

So there you have it. The NFL does not have a crime problem. The NFL has a population problem. In a group that large, there are going to be people who screw up and make everyone else look bad. The important thing is that you react accordingly and don't allow people like that to represent you as a whole, and the NFL is doing a better and better job of it.** Now please everybody shut up about it.


* Via Wikipedia: "Mischief, in criminal law, is an offense against property that does not involve conversion. It typically involves any damage, defacement, alteration, or destruction of property." My best guess? The old flaming bag of poo on the doorstep trick.

** Cowboys not included

Real A.L. All-Stars

(Ed. note - I've been in LA since Monday and I am feeling the West Coast laziness.  With that being said, here's a little somethin' for that a**.)

After Jermaine Dye got shafted out of going to Yankee Stadium as an All-Star, it got me to thinking (oh hey, I'm thinking now?) about the make up of the rosters.  There's a paradox here. And it's all Bud Selig's fault.  So I can sort of appreciate having every team represented to induce interest for fans across the country.  Your team sucks but there's one dude that's sort of okay and he might get into the game for a half an inning.

Whoo-hoo.

But a few years ago, Selig had the bright idea to lay home field advantage for the WORLD F'N SERIES(!) on the line.  Really?!?! You're potentially going to have players on teams that are 15 games out of first place in July playing in a game that decides where games are played in October?

One or the other folks.  

Now I can appreciate this since I am an unabashed White Sox fan and the American League has won the last 10 games in a row.  And with that being said, here is the real team that can get U.S. Cellular field the first games of the Fall Classic. (Using roughly the same format that was presented this year)

C-Joe Mauer (S)

AJ Pierzynski

Dioner Navarro

1B-Kevin Youkilis (S)

Justin Morneau

2B-Ian Kinsler (S)

Dustin Pedroia

3B-Alex Rodriguez (S)

Evan Longoria

Mike Lowell

SS-Michael Young (S)

Jhonny Peralta

OF-Josh Hamilton(S)

Grady Sizemore(S)

JD Drew(S)

Nick Markakis

Carlos Quentin

Jermaine Dye

DH-Milton Bradley(S)

Aubrey Huff

Jason Giambi

P-John Danks

Justin Duchscherer

Cliff Lee

Shawn Marcum

Roy Halladay

Gavin Floyd

Scott Kazmir

Ervin Santana

RP-Francisco Rodriguez

Mariano Rivera

Joe Nathan

Jonathan Papelbon

Joakim Soria

Discuss...

FAVRE WATCH: DAY SIX

Get out here, Brett Favre jerk! You're making ESPN look like an idiot!

Anyways, I saw this column the other night and was consumed by blind rage. Gene raises an interesting point in wondering about the goal of the general manager. He contends it is to construct the best possible team, which in the case of the Packers, would certainly have Brett Favre at QB, not Aaron Rodgers. Ballsy statement there.

For the remainder of the column, Gene bizarrely faults Packers general manager Ted Thompson for allowing Favre to retire. Come again? He writes:

"Favre's agent, Bus Cook, called this scenario more than four months ago. He told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that Thompson did 'nothing' to encourage Favre to continue playing. That could mean two things: Thompson respected Favre's decision, or Thompson wanted to staple gun Favre's name to the NFL retirement list. I'm going with the staple gun plot."

Why, Gene? What evidence do you have that would suggest Thompson had some "plot" to keep Favre off the Packers? That he drafted a solid backup QB in Brian Brohm after Favre announced his retirement? Because he has not rushed back from vacation to issue a statement about rumors that Favre might want to return? Yeah, that plot to keep Favre off the Packers is tricky, alright. Just now, ESPN reports that Brett texted Thompson, but that Thompson replied he is on vacation and they will speak later. Sly move, Thompson.

Perhaps as Brett waits for a return text, he should try to remember how he feels late in the season... how mentally exhausted he says he got with the day-to-day stress. Thompson and the Packers are allegedly hesitant to bring him back because they feel Favre retired for the right reasons. I applaud Thompson for recognizing that, because he did. General managers are responsible for putting together the best roster, yes, but they also need to have vision beyond the upcoming season. Does Thompson really want to go through the drama of bringing Favre back, only to go through this debacle in another year or two? No way. Change your phone number, and continue moving forward.

An open letter to the Boston Red Sox

So guys.

I know you're probably a little defensive after all the "what's wrong with the Red Sox?!?!1!" talk over the last couple days, and that's fine. On the bright side, you're still in second place in the AL East, you've got a winning record, Papi will be coming back in a week or so (knock on wood), and you get to enjoy a nice little homestand before the All Star break.True, it's early July, the Yankees didn't get Sabathia, and the Ray's are probably due for a losing streak. All good things. However, you've got some major issues to address in the upcoming weeks if you want another World Series banner this year:

1. The bullpen is hot garbage. Craig Hansen has given up a staggering 20 runs in 24.2 innings. He's also walked 17 guys in that time. Okajima's surprising struggles in late May and June have put him far behind last season's stats. In 2007, Oki allowed 17 runs all year. So far in 2008 (and in exactly half the innings from last season) , he's given up 12 runs, while allowing 38 hits (50 in all of last year), and walking 13, to last season's 17. It's gotten so bad, I was relieved to see grandpa Timlin back from the DL, warming up in the bullpen over the weekend. Sad. I know Papelbon has had some trouble this season, but you need to get to him. Innings seven and eight are dead zones..
2. Speaking of dead zones, the bottom of the lineup is less threatening than Julio Lugo in a dark alley (eat a sandwich, Julio!). The Red Sox began to mount a ninth-inning rally Saturday.. Drew, Manny, Lowell, and Youk did their jobs and got on base, and you guys are suddenly down 2-1 at the top of the ninth, bases loaded with no outs. PERFECT! Except here comes Varitek, Crisp, and Lugo.. as you know, that game ended with a 2-1 loss, as Crugotek stuck out. Again. No wonder Manny is getting fiesty! Get some power in the bottom of the lineup! How, you ask?
3. Get a decent shortstop. Julio Lugo is just awful. I heard Remy comment once that when you signed him, you were prepared to deal with Lugo's errors because of his offensive production and power. Except once again, you struggle to find a shortstop who can produce in Boston (Nomar Curse?), so cut your losses and call up Jed Lowrie. And no, you are not allowed to platoon Alex Cora and Lugo. They have combined for the most shortstop errors in the AL.
   
4. Get a new catcher. Sorry, Varitek.. you've been a great captain and team chemistry guy, but you're approaching the Mendoza line and the end of your contract, and you're not going to get Posada money next year. Theo, I know you are capable of cutting a fan favorite* loose when he's no longer worth the money. Do it. And since Kevin Cash is producing just about as much offense as Tek, remember that you've got some solid prospects in Dusty Brown and Mark Wagner.
   

Glad that's settled. See you on the duck boats, guys.


*Jason Varitek's most adoring fans consist of single (maybe divorced), slightly overweight, 40-something women in pink hats, who probably envision him as a cuddly teddy bear who will love them and protect them and bring them ice cream in bed while they catch up on Grey's Anatomy together.

Alternate Fantasy Football Rules

Once thought to be a game for only the nerdiest of sports enthusiasts, fantasy football has reached such main stream popularity that anyone who does not manage at least one team is often considered a second rate fan.

In an effort to market to fantasy owners who might not have the starting line-up of every team memorized, vast amounts of information has been made accessible for the casual player. Free access to online league tools at sites such as Yahoo and ESPN makes it easy for all ages and levels of football knowledge. If you don't know who the best running backs are, just take a look at the vanilla scouting reports provided by Yahoo's football experts. Not sure if you should take a rookie QB in your draft? See what they have to say on ESPN.com.

This easy knowledge, to some degree, has removed an advantage from people who don't need Yahoo's suggestions on who to start, who know to draft back-ups based on bye-weeks, and who actually understand the risks of taking a Denver running-back in the draft without being told. Information is power, and there's a ton of it out there these days. To make playing fantasy football more difficult, many leagues have become larger, instituted keeper rules, or have alternative scoring.

So what else can be done? What's next on the horizon? A problem I've had is that no matter how well you build and manage your team, there is no way for you to stop your head-to-head opponent from having a fluke week and beating you. As it is now, you just kind of have to accept that you can't stop other teams from scoring points. But what if you were able to "play defense" against your opposition?

I've thought about giving an idea of mine a test run. Every week each owner would get to choose one player to "defend" against. "Defending" would basically entail making a prediction about the production of that player in terms of yards or touchdowns. This can be kind of confusing, so I'll use an example featuring two fictional teams: MikeVicsDawgz and the Belicheaterz.

This week the owner of MikeVicsDawgz is playing the owner of Belicheaterz. MikeVicsDawgz sees that Belicheaterz has Ladainian Tomlinson, and he wants to defend against him. Before Saturday at noon (Wednesday at noon for weeks that start on Thursday), MikeVicsDawgz must post his prediction on the league message board.

Let's say his is prediction is 111 yards for LDT. If Tomlinson runs for 111 yards or more, Belicheaterz will only score points for every yard past the 111th (so a 130 yard game would be scored as a 19 yard game). If LDT runs for less than 111 yards, then MikeVicsDawgz will lose points equal to the difference between the prediction and the performance (so a 79 yard game would lose MikeVicsDawgz 32 yards worth of points). The same process would be applied if MikeVicsDawgz chose to predict touchdowns instead of yards. Obviously this works best if fractional scoring is used.

If Belicheaterz thought that the prediction was very accurate, and could damage his chance of winning, he could choose to sit Tomlinson before his game began. MikeVicsDawgz would NOT get to make another prediction.

Since there is no way to officially apply changes like this on a site like Yahoo, the standings would not reflect the modified scoring. The league commissioner would be forced to keep track of point totals and records and post updates about both on the message board. This would effectively create two competitions in the same league: the regular Yahoo Championship, and the Advanced Championship.

Playoffs, unfortunately, would be complicated as the match-ups would likely differ between competitions. However, Yahoo still tracks team point totals even if you do not make the post-season, so it would not be impossible.

This is an untested idea. If you've got any additions or criticisms to make, feel free to post a comment.

Okay Brett, seriously, let it go...

I would hate to be Aaron Rogers right now. Sure, he's gotten paid millions of dollars to be a glorified mannequin for the past three years, but when Brett Favre finally "retired" from the NFL back in March things didn't exactly appear to be set in stone. Even on that day, there were still rumblings that there was a chance Favre would come back for one more year. There were rumors that his locker hadn't been packed up (pun!) yet. He was a staple in Green Bay for so long (and let's face it, what the hell do people in Wisconsin have to hold onto?) that fans had a tough time letting go.

But time moved on. Many assumed he'd get a gig in front of the camera as an analyst on one of the 6,497 football shows on tv. The Packers even drafted Briam Brohm to make sure Rodgers still had the fire in him and to let him know the job wasn't just going to be handed to him. And if something happened to Rogers, Brohm could step up. Hell, it was announced that Favre was going to be on the cover of Madden '09 because it wouldn't matter if the curse hit him or not, because he was out of the game.

Now word has come out today that he has an "itch" to come back and play.

I don't need to go over the guy's career stats with you. Yes, I know, he was a very, very good quarterback and will have a spot shined and ready for him in the Hall of Fame. But dude, enough is enough. How is the franchise ever going to succeed if there are lingering sentiments of a Favre return? Coach Mike McCarthy even admitted he tried to talk Number 4 out of retirement. He has played it down for the most part saying it's just a rumor. That really isn't doing it for me. If you aren't going to come back, be clear about it. Espn.com is reporting that a Packer source has told them:

"Favre has communicated his potential desire to coach Mike McCarthy but talks have not advanced to a substantive stage."

I don't even want to know their definition of substantive. The thing is, Brett might really be done with playing the game of football. But you know ESPN is going to jump at every tidbit of info regarding some Ali-like return. Fueling the flames as it were. When he gave his retirement speech, there just wasn't an air of finalty to the whole thing. Training camp starts in roughly a month. If Rogers (or Brohm) and the Packers want to make anything out of this season, they need to do it without Favre looming in the shadows like some old creep with popsicles in his basement. He made his mark on the game, but now, he needs to do the right thing and reassure everyone-the fans, the organization, the coach and his former teammates-that he is 100% retired. Those two years remaining on his contract will go untouched. He wll even call Ben Stiller looking for work if that's what it takes. I am not a Packers fan by any stretch of the imagination, but c'mon Brett. Let ESPN blow up some other story. Let Aaron Rodgers at least have the chance to win Packers fans over. Let the past be the past.

Gee, all this talk about the NFL is getting me pumped for the season. I can't wait for the first Monday Night Game. Wonder who's playing...

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

Hi,

My name is William, but since we are close friends now, you can call me Billy. I am from scenic Staten Island, New York. As a result, I am a Jets*, Mets** and Knicks*** fan, pretty much in that order. I am also a Rangers**** fan, in the sense that I own one of those nice alternate jerseys with the Statue of Liberty on it, and I will happily watch any of their Stanley Cup Finals appearances as long as it is at least game 4, period 2.

It is a pretty bad time to be a fan of any of those teams! (wait, are the Rangers good?).

However, I'm not here to be a homer (you've already met Adam, right?), and I'm not here to jam statistics down your throat, even while worshiping at the altar of Moneyball. I'm pretty sure I'm here to provide a pleasing palate cleanser between talk of OPS+ and pictures of Rick Ross (boss). Think of me as your delightful lemon sorbet between dinner courses, except way hetero.

You can expect from me: Dispatches from enemy territory (Boston), Ruminations on all things construda, Rusty Kuntz, Detlef Schrempf, and Mookie Wilson/Blaylock ("The Sporting Mookies") references, and as a fan of the previously mentioned teams, the occasional poorly reasoned, inarticulate outburst of white hot rage.

I think Scrob will exercise more editorial control on my future posts!


* They earned every one of their 4 wins last season. No illicit taping or secret robot cheerleaders (look it up) or nothin'.

** I think the Mets might be surprising later on this season, as they often are (like last year!). Hopefully this year's surprise isn't how surprisingly bad they are at baseball.

*** Nobody ever laughs at my "28 seconds or less" jokes about the D'Antoni era in New York. Does no one read Phoenix based sports memoirs anymore? - Also I think the aforementioned D'Antoni era is going to have more to do with wacky Polaroids of Mike and his kid wearing foam Statue of Liberty headbands at the Guggenheim than, you know, actual quality basketball.

**** no, I seriously know absolutely nothing about the New York Football Rangers.