Friday, May 29, 2009

My nomination for the Album of the Year Goes to...

Ben Utecht makes Chris Daughtry look like Hannah Montana.

You may know him as the former tight (and I mean TIGHT) end for the Indianapolis Colts.

Or, you may know him as the tight end for the stupid stupid Bengals.

However, I now know him as HUNKROCKSTARCOBAINMEATDOCTOR.
You look at this album cover and probably think "Wow, if Chad Kroeger dies, then we know who the new God of rock music is". You then pop in the CD, and the immediate sound that fills your ears is like a thousand beautiful women orgasming gloriously at your command.

With tracks like We All Bow Down (I believe this was written during his tenure with the Colts, and is obviously about Peyton Manning), Heal Me (an ode to the many trainers Utecht has had throughout his career), So Far Away (Carole King cover), Glimpse of Heaven (another song about Peyton I presume), and Run To You (written after this one time where Peyton Manning got sacked and Utecht was really worried and so he ran back to check on Peyton and see if he was ok or not and Peyton said he was ok but Utecht still was afraid for his safety and Dallas Clark only jogged towards Peyton to see if he was ok so him and Utecht got into an argument about the speed in which they should be checking on Peyton if he ever gets hit and this led to a restraining order by Peyton and thus Utecht is now a Bengal), this album is sure to be a hit!

James' rating: Five out of five stars plus a thumbs up and three smiley faces.