Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

See James. See James run. See James run all over Adam Man, Scrob, Kate, Bullock, and Billy in fantasy football. See James makes ridiculously lopsided trades and get away with them because he lacks ethics. See James lose his friends because of fantasy football. While I'm on my way to Buffalo Billsing it up at 4-0 with a season high 184.99 points (no doubt that will be shattered at some point), I thought it best to take this opportunity for a little early season gloating (which I like to call Patriotsing or Cowboysing it up).

Giving you a description of my top 10 favorite things in sports ever might be a good way to introduce myself, so without further ado, this is James' favorite sports things in the whole world.

1. Peyton Manning. If this were a top 10 list of my favorite things ever, Peyton would still be at the top and miles above the rest. Air? No. Water? No. Sex? No. Peyton sex? Yes.


I would say my love for Peyton Manning began somewhere around April 18, 1998. I was a diehard Colts fan coming off another awful season, and it was like God himself handed a starving man a lifetime supply of corned beef hash. We could have been handed roast beef hash (#2 pick Ryan Leaf), but the Colts had their eyes set on a legend. Watching Manning go from a shaky, potential filled rookie into irrefutably one of the 5 greatest quarterbacks of all time (and I will make an argument any day of the week that he's #1) was one of the most enjoyable experiences a football fan can have. Because of Peyton Manning, I'll often call audibles at random places, like when I'm ordering at a restaurant or deciding what to wear for the day.


2. Eli Manning. I will be the first to admit it, I am a Manning fanboy. I have good reason to be too. My dad was a Giants fan before I had ever been a Colts fan, and the first Super Bowl I ever watched was XXV, where the Bills (Parcells and Belichick) dismantled the Bills (Buffalo), managing to scrape out a victory even with Jeff Hostetler at the helm. Once I became a Colts fan very soon after, I still had a soft spot for the G-Men, and I root for them every week except once every four years when they face Indy.

Anyway, Eli. At this point last year, Eli was maybe #7 or #8 on the list. The regular season was coming to an end, and the Giants barely got beat by the Patriots. I'd contend the Pats got a giant PI call in their favor, but after the outcome of the Super Bowl, I'll let them have that game. The playoffs hadn't started, and I called Eli Manning as Super Bowl MVP. I got laughed at. The Giants rolled into Tampa Bay and made Gruden walk the plank. They went to Dallas and lassoed Romo and Owens. They flew up to Green Bay and did something awful to Favre involving meat packing. Then of course, Tyree, Plaxiglass, etc etc, and we come to this...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get to #2 on my list.

3. UConn basketball/football. Short answer: I'm from Connecticut, and after the Whalers abandoned us for Carolina, we had minor league baseball and UConn basketball. A few decent players have come through UConn over the years, you may have heard of them. Guys like Ray Allen, Richard Hamilton, Caron Butler, Emeka Okafor, Cliff Robinson, and of course the two Marshalls: Boston Celtic great Donny Marshall and former Timberwolf/Warrior/Jazz-guy/Bull/Raptor/Cavalier/Supersonic and now 76er Donyell Marshall all got their start in Connecticut.

UConn football is quickly taking over as my Connecticut team though. With the best running back in college (Yes, I said best, and if you disagree, look at Donald Brown's stats), a gigantic and glorious new stadium, and Darius Butler, who has the same disregard for his body that Bob Sanders has (and barring major injuries will be a first rounder this year), UConn football is more exciting than it's ever been in its long, dismal history. They're finally a top 25 team, and Heisman talk for Brown is finally making its way out of Connecticut and into other parts of the country. During the course of the season, expect a lot of Donald Brown Heisman pimpage from this guy. Two games over 200 yards, only one game under 150 (146), and just a touchdown short of being the current NCAA leader. That's how UConn does it.

4. Chipper Jones. Barring the coaches' son or some other kid would get to pick their number before me, I always took #10 after my baseball hero, Larry Wayne Jones. I played 3rd base like him, cheated all over my wife with Hooters' waitresses like him, and tried to copy his batting stance as best I could. Yeah, I struck out most of the time, but at least I struck out like Chipper would've struck out. I'm not the avid Braves fan I once was, but I will always have love for L-Wayne Jones. By the way, despite being plagued by injuries this season, my man Chipper still managed to sneak away with the National League batting title. How did he celebrate? I'll give you one guess.


4. Tony Dungy. It's hard to find someone who doesn't like Tony Dungy. He's classy, cool-headed, and on top of it, one of the smartest coaches in the game. A friend bought me his book Quiet Strength to read, but I keep getting sidetracked. I feel ridiculous for having decided to start The Brothers Karamazov first and getting Dungy after. I could have been done with Quiet Strength already and still have the knowledge that it will be approximately six months before I finish off TBK.

Dungy is one of the few coaches in the NFL who really bring the fans into their personal life. The tragic suicide of his son was felt by many people outside of the Colts community, and his handling of it on his way to an eventual Super Bowl was a testament to his great character. The Colts, always a well respected organization, have done nothing but benefit tremendously while he's been head coach.

5. Tom Brady. Yeah, I said it. Manning-boy loves Tom Brady. The truth is, I love to hate him, and hate to love him. He's a spectacle, and has helped create the two best possible seasons of football I could ever imagine for a Manning fan. Tom Brady going down for the season was initially the greatest thing that could ever happen to me. I had dreamed of the exact scenario...first quarter, first game, Brady's leg snaps in half and he's out for the season. After the intial celebration, I quickly came to my senses. Reasons being:

a. Tom Brady, love him or hate him is another of the top 5 quarterbacks of all time, and another person you could make an argument for tops on the list. I regret being too young to see Johnny Unitas or Frank Tarkenton, so being able to watch Manning and Brady is as good if not better. Peyton always says that quarterback is the hardest position to play in any sport, but last season Tom Brady made it look unbelievably easy. He made the Patriots look like football's Harlem Globetrotters and everyone else (except of course, the Giants and Colts), look like...whoever the Globetrotters play. It was incredible.



b. The Colts/Patriots rivalry really isn't that great unless Brady is involved. The two greatest quarterbacks of this generation squaring off is one thing, but Manning taking on Brady's backup is another. Aside from the Super Bowl, this is typically the most important game of the season for me. I hate to say it, but Eli Manning against Tony Romo will never be quite the epic battle the Manning/Brady matchups are.

c. It's taken the Patriots fans out of this season already. Maybe this is good for Patriots fans, as it'll weed out some of the bandwagoners, or sunshine Patriots as I call them. Last year, you couldn't shut them up about how this is the greatest team ever assembled, and last week they not only began leaving in droves before the fourth quarter, but they booed the team. One of the most prolific dynasites EVER loses their first game in over a year, and you boo them? I know this isn't most Patriots fans, but for anyone who has anything remotely bad to say about their franchise's performance after the past few years the team's given them...please hand your jerseys, hats and koozies over to a fan who deserves it.

There are plenty more reasons similar to these, but if you're a real football fan, you know that something's missing without Brady.

7. Everything fantasy. I used to try to avoid fantasy sports, as I thought it was for nerds. Once I came to the realization that I was in fact, a nerd, I felt more comfortable letting fantasy sports turn into an obsession. I love fantasy football, baseball, basketball, hockey... I've even played fantasy golf. Something about looking like a bigger sports guru than your friends (even though the only reason you took half your players is because the guys you wanted who end up being flops got taken the pick before you) sparks my ego. All who know me know I have an undeservedly large ego, and there's no better way to boost it without merit than fantasy.

I just finished 2nd place in both baseball leagues I was in, one roto, one H2H. Right now in both football leagues (basically the same guys, different sport), I'm 4-0 and 1-3. I'm sure I'll focus on my good league, as there's much more room for bragging right now. I think Adam already brought up my Manning to Manning trade. I was offered Peyton, I had Eli, and couldn't resist. Now I'm trying to, against my better judgment, get Eli back for the All-Manning powerhouse. They would also be a good 1-2 combo in a fantasy DSRL league.

P.S, since I wrote this blog, my 1-3 team just got a small bailout. My main problem was my receiving corps. I had Colston out, Roy Williams underperforming, and Santana Moss was the only guy putting up points. I realized Bobby Engram was still a free agent and snagged him, and another guy decided to drop Santonio Holmes. I love panic moves, and I love having a good waiver spot to begin the season, so I picked up Holmes. He'll improve and be a very valuable receiver. Last year he looked streaky, but during those streaks he was diesel. So at this point, I've got Santana Moss solidifed in my starting lineup, with Holmes, Engram, Justin Gage, Eddie Royal all very valid options for next week. I hate to bench Gage with his solid play since Collins took over as QB, and Royal has been fingertips and a fumble away from being a top 3 receiver. I love these decisions.

8. Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh. I heard some Olympic bloggers and writers and everyone else complaining that women's beach volleyball was overexposed this summer. I immediately boycotted them. I love May-Treanor and Walsh for the same reason every guy does; they're incredible athletes. They carry themselves with dignity, and show great sportsmanship. Just look at how close they are as a team.


Still don't feel me on them? Let's take a closer look at their team chemistry.

Ok, congratulations, you solved the mystery. I, like 90% of males, don't go to Hooters because I enjoy their wings, I don't tune in to the latest Pussycat Dolls video for their singing, and I don't watch women's volleyball for the athleticism. However, the difference here is: Hooters' wings suck, the Pussycat Dolls can't sing, but May-Treanor and Walsh are the most dominant duo in their sport. And I love me some booty.

9. Detroit Red Wings. I'm not so much a closet hockey fan as I don't talk about it because no one I know gives a rat's ass about hockey. I'm hoping I can start watching some non-Bruins game this season, as hockey has at least gotten a little bit more coverage each of the past couple seasons. Outdoor hockey is the way to go, real ice being flung down like golf balls definitely adds a different element to the sport.

So, being a Whalers fan, I had to go somewhere when they left. No way was I going to support them in Carolina, so I seceded. I had options...the Rangers, Bruins, Islanders, Sabres as far as teams in the area go. Instead though, I followed Brendan Shanahan to Detroit and settled there. Shanahan was barely a Whaler, and he wanted a trade after one season, but I figured the fact that we both had bad endings with Hartford meant I should be rooting for him. Anyone that loses a franchise knows how much that sucks.

The Wings had Shanahan, Yzerman, Federov, Osgood...all in their prime. Everyone knows those names, but no one knows Zetterberg, Rafalsky, Datsyuk or Cleary these days. Lots of great players. P.S. they also won the Stanley Cup. I bet at least one person reading this won't have known that.



10. Cooper Manning. You can't have both Peyton and Eli here and not think about what could have been. Imagine if Cooper had been as great at wide receiver as Peyton and Eli are at quarterback and made it on to the Colts or Giants? Manning to Manning touchdowns galore. Instead, a lingering spinal injury made Cooper the unsuccessful black sheep of the family. By unsuccessful, I mean that Cooper is just a partner at an energy research firm making an ass-ton of money.


Still, you can't help but wonder how great Cooper Manning could have been in the NFL. Cooper Manning, my blog posts are hereby dedicated to you and the greatness that almost was.

Just Brutal.

Sadly, this isn't a book review. It isn't even a movie review. How much of a coincidence is it that on the day I go see the film version of probably my favorite novel of all time, the Chicago White Sox sit a half game back in a division that they led almost wire to wire? Doing their best Victor Mancini impression, the ChiSox went into Minnesota with a chance to finally put the Twins away and start preparing for the postseason, but left beaten, defeated and embarrassed. (Well I'm embarrassed anyway.) All they needed to do was not get swept...but they did.

Last night's game was especially brutal because they had a two run lead in the eighth inning and Bobby Jenks gave up a single and a triple allowing the Twins to tie the game and go on to win it in the 10th. It's his first loss of the entire year. For the series, they got out hit 36-22 and outscored 19-11. How did this happen? Well for starters, you know things probably aren't going to end well when Ozzie Guillen (rightfully) called out Javier Vazquez before Friday night's game and said that he has never been a big game pitcher. Sure, he gets a lot of strikeouts but ever since the All-Star break, Vazquez has been terrible, highlighted by his 4.94 September ERA. Which of course includes his stellar 4 IP, 7 H, 5 ER performance on Friday. Great, really set the tone there Javy.

Of course, Chicago's problems go a little deeper than Vazquez not being a clutch performer. (I guess this is around the time where anyone who is reading this will probably ask a) Who gives a rat's ass about the White Sox? and b)Didn't they just win the World Series in 2005?) Their bullpen has absolutely fallen apart. Scott Linebrink, one of their big free agent signings this year was phenomenal until he got hurt and missed all of August. Matt Thornton has been fairly consistent but guys like Boone Logan and Mike MacDougal have been awful. Octavio Dotel apparently forgot how to pitch over the last two months as well.

Oh yeah, having a potential American League MVP break his wrist down the stretch isn't going to help the cause. Carlos Quentin was having just a monster of a year before he got hit by one pitch too many. He hasn't played since September 1st. He still leads the AL in home runs. Yes, you read that correctly. Also, fun stuff like 100 RBIs and a .965 OPS. He carried the team on his back offensively for most of the year when Crede inevitably went down and Konerko looked like Jason Varitek at the plate. And the Griffey trade? Yikes. I know they didn't give up much for him but he hasn't done jack squat for the team besides look old.

You knew this picture was coming.

Anyway, the whole season, Minnesota never gave up and went on some nice winning streaks. But Chicago managed to stay ahead of them for the most part. Granted, both teams have looked pretty bad over the past few weeks, but looking at the schedule, I knew the division race would come down to this series. Maybe if it was John Danks' turn in the rotation, they could have gotten a win. Who knows. I do know that he's pitching tonight against the Indians in Chicago. If things go down to the wire, Chicago will have to play Detroit on Monday in a make up game, also in Chicago. Minnesota on the other hand hosts the Royals for their final three. (C'mon Gil Meche! Yes, this is what I've resorted to. Rooting for Gil Meche.)

I suppose I can look at all this in a positive light. I mean, every "expert" on the planet had Cleveland and Detroit on top of the Central. Minnesota just lost Johan and Toriiiii Hunter. The White Sox were coming off a dismal 2007 and didn't look like they did much to improve the team. Many of those same experts are claiming that the White Sox and Twins are simply overachieving. That could be the case. I mean, I'm obviously a huge Sox fan and I sure as hell didn't expect Quentin to have the year he's had. But Danks and Gavin Floyd have really stepped up and my boy Alexei Ramirez, .295 20 73 in 131 games, would definitely get Rookie of the Year honors if it weren't for Evan Longoria. Jermaine Dye is having another tremendous year as well.

In the end, I still can't help but feel really disappointed about how the past three games turned out. I mean, Quentin might be ready for the playoffs and with a rotation of Danks, Mark Buehrle and Floyd, the team has a chance to make some noise in October. But their chances of getting in now are severly diminished. They still control their own fate by winning the last four games. Do they have anything left? Can Ozzie pull a rabbit out of the hat? Or will all that time they spent in first place this year be for naught because of a choke job in Minnesota? I don't know. I gotta go clear my head by seeing a movie about a sex addict who works in a colonial theme park.

EDIT: According to Phil Rogers at the Chicago Tribune, Chicago has been in first place for 145 days this season. Nice.

Honestly... This Is Turning Into A Crapshoot

All you have to know about the 2008 NFL season so far is that Kate and I are starting Trent Edwards in a combined 3 fantasy leagues this week... and we couldn't be happier. Oh that and Brady Quinn should be a starting QB soon, and people think this will save a football team. Oh and that Reggie Bush might actually be incredibly good after all. Oh, and that I have a man-crush on Felix Jones. Wait, one more... Ronnie Brown is looking like the best QB on the Dolphins roster.

It's funny, every year, everybody (myself included) gets overwhelmed by all the wacky things happening in the NFL. We all act like it's never happened before, like THIS is the first time it hasn't gone according to plan. But that's exactly why football is so fun... because EVERY year is bizarre. The Bills and Broncos are still undefeated, and definitely should be after this week (facing St. Louis and KC, the Missouri suck-twins). The NFC East, who everybody knew would be good, is a combined 10-2, and 8-0 outside their division! I'd add more, but you've probably read all the interesting anomalies all week long, instead I'll share two new sections...

Interesting Fantasy Trades of the Week:
1) Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Bryant for Fred Taylor, Chad Ocho Cinco, and Jeremy Shockey:
This was between myself and fellow SPLP writer Bullock. Ok, so maybe this one was just interesting to me because I was a part of it. Still, if somebody asked you before the season about this trade, it would probably look incredibly unbalanced in favor of the players on the right. But I had the good fortune of drafting both Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers, and with them both sitting in the top-4 of QB ranks so far this season, I felt the need to move when they had their peak value. Plus, my 3rd best RB was DeAngelo Williams. Freddie will be an upgrade, and I'll take the risk of Oucho-Stinko since he won't be in my top-3 WR's. I know Shockey's hurt, but with Brees as my QB, he's worth shelving for now

2) Peyton Manning for Eli Manning, straight up:
I was pretty speechless when I first saw this. It's noteworthy that this trade happened between one of the most fantasy-savvy members of our league and probably the least fantasy-savvy members... and that the savvy one is a ginormous Colts fan. C'mon Laura, I know Peyton's struggled a bit early on, but you forgot the most important rule about Eli Manning, that being that HE IS STILL ELI MANNING. The best way I can describe this trade is that you just traded ass-cancer for ball-cancer.

NFL Headline of the Week:
"Quick-healing Favre walking with only slight limp"
Drink it in Jets fans. Your encouraging news is that your geriatric QB is only sightly limping.

Runner Up:
"Warrant issued for Bengals defensive lineman "
Surprise Factor: negative a hojillian.

Before we get to the picks, I just want to give a fond farewell to Troy Brown, the epitome of New England Patriot football from '93-'03. An undersized, late-round pick with less than blazing speed, he scratched and fought to make a place for himself in the league, morphing from kick return specialist to #1 receiver for a Super Bowl championship team, and all-time team leader in receptions. He worked hard, stayed humble, and did whatever he needed to to help the team. It's nice in today's sports world to see a guy who's easy to root for stick with one team for his entire career. Good luck in the next stage of your life Troy.

WEEK 4 PICKS

Vikings @ Titans (-1.5)
As predicted here last week, the Vikes hopped on the Gus Bus and rode to their first victory. The Titans, meanwhile, are quietly undefeated and atop the talented AFC North, all without their suicidal QB. This game could go either way, but I see it going similarly to Week 1, where the Titans shut down a great running game and pulled off a win at home.
Prediction: Titans, 20-14
Fantasy Love: Bo Scaife, Chris Johnson, Tennessee DEF, Adrian Peterson
Fantasy Hate: Gus Frerrotte, LenDale White

Broncos @ Cheifs (+11.5)
One of the most deserving double-digit dogs at home, ever. There's not a single thing I like about KC outside of Dwayne Bowe, and the Broncos offense has looked scary good so far, scoring 38 per game. With the way Denver's D has been playing though, at least KC will have a chance to put up a few meaningless scores.
Prediction: Broncos, 34-21
Fantasy Love: Brandon Marshall, Jay Cutler, Eddie Royal, Dwayne Bowe
Fantasy Hate: Tyler Thigpen, Larry Johnson, Selvin Young

49ers @ Saints (-2.5)
The Saints have lost two in a row coming into this one, and San Fran is riding high at 2-1. I just don't see them stopping Brees and Bush though, even with Colston and Shockey injured. Especially not in New Orleans. I have a feeling San Fran is going to be one of those completely unpredictable teams all year long. Hey Bay-area fans... that's better than being predictably bad again, right?
Prediction: Saints, 31-28
Fantasy Love: Drew Brees, Devery Henderson Reggie Bush, Frank Gore, JT O'Sullivan, Bryant Johnson
Fantasy Hate: David Patten, Vernon Davis (so much hate)

Cardinals @ Jets (EVEN)
I really really REALLY hope this isn't the game we get stuck watching with the bye-week. With the Giants also on bye, it seems likely though. At least we get a really old QB showdown. Expect lots of graphics referring to this from FOX... you can just feel it coming. I'm not convinced on either of these teams, so I'll give it to the home squad.
Prediction: Jets, 21-17
Fantasy Love: Kurt Warner, Anquan Boldin, Chansi Stuckey, Thomas Jones
Fantasy Hate: Edgerrin James, Laverneous Coles

Packers @ Bucs (+2.5)
Without Warren Sapp and Brett Favre, this matchup doesn't have the sizzle it used to. Still, it's 2 of the better teams in the NFC facing off. We're getting far enough into the season to get confidence in Rodgers, and Brian Griese is single-handedly resurrecting the careers of Antonio Bryant and Ike Hilliard. Yes, that sentence actually happened. Also noteworthy, Earnest Graham and Warrick Dunn are averaging 6 and 5.2 YPC, respectively. Still, I see the longball beating smallball in this one. This seems like a good time to mention that Lil Wayne has a blog and is a Packers fan.
Prediction: Green Bay, 28-20
Fantasy Love: Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, Antonio Bryant, Earnest Graham
Fantasy Hate: Ryan Grant, Ike Hilliard

Falcons @ Panthers (-5)
This game is surprisingly being played for first place in the division. The Falcons have taken advantage of an early schedule, and you can see them getting confidence. Meanwhile the Panthers seem to only play well when nobody is telling them they should. Steve Smith is back and had 70 yards last week working his way into game-speed. Expect a big day here against an unproven secondary. Also, I went to the ESPN page for the Falcons, and saw the image to the right. Way to keep things up to date.
Prediction: Carolina, 24-14
Fantasy Love: Michael Turner, Steve Smith, Jonathan Stewart Fantasy Hate: Mike Jenkins, DeAngelo Williams


Texans @ Jaguars (-7.5)
I give credit to the Jags, they pulled off a big road win last week... but let's face it, the Colts are slipping. I think the Texans are a lot better than 0-3, but because of their rough schedule, that's where they might end up. I can see myself being completely wrong here but...
Prediction: Jaguars, 27-24
Fantasy Love: Fred Taylor, MJD, Andre Johnson, Steve Slaton
Fantasy Hate: David Garrard, Ahman Green

Browns @ Bengals (-3.5)
Check that, THIS is the game I don't want to be seeing. I guess you can at least hope for some offensive fireworks, or that Brady Quinn will come in mid-game, or that Ocho Cinco will actually live up to his own hype for a week. Still, things just aren't pretty in the land that's high in the middle and round on the ends.
Prediction: Bengals take it, 34-24
Fantasy Love: Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards, Housh, Carson Palmer, Chris Perry
Fantasy Hate: Derek Anderson, Ocho Cinco, Jamal Lewis

Chargers @ Raiders (+8)
The whole Oakland clubhouse tormoil thing isn't even interesting anymore, it's just annoying. Meanwhile the Chargers finally got back on track against a bad team last week. I expect that trend to continue.
Prediction: San Diego, 34-14
Fantasy Love: Tomlinson, Rivers, Chambers, Gates, McFadden
Fantasy Hate: JaMarcus Russell, Vincent Jackson, Michael Bush, Ronald Curry

Bills @ Rams (+9)
This is my pick for Survivor Pools this week. The Rams are just gawd-awful, and shell-of-a-man Trent Green is now starting. Also, have we ever had a game with both starting QBs named Trent before? Once again, we're in a world where the Bills are clear AFC East front-runners. It's giving me childhood flashbacks.
Prediction: Bills, 34-10
Fantasy Love: Trent Edwards, Lee Evans, Marshawn Lynch, Torry Holt
Fantasy Hate: Trent Green, Steven Jackson

Redskins @ Cowboys (-7)
At 2-1, the Skins might be this years version of the '07 Giants... in that I am convinced they're no good but they keep winning anyway. Still, I don't see them rolling into Big-D and toppling the Cowboys this week. With the emergence of Felix Jones, Dallas has a scary amount of weapons now.
Prediction: Cowboys, 34-21
Fantasy Love: Romo, TO, Witten, MB3, Felix Jones, Clinton Portis, Santana Moss
Fantasy Hate: Patrick Crayton, Antwan Randel-El

Eagles @ Bears (+6.5)
After two very tough weeks, the Eagles head to Chicago to face a team that's looked better than expected. Last week's bloodbath leagues McNabb and Westbrook banged up, and Correll Buckhalter might be the main man. If that's the case, the Bears have a chance... but I'm going to assume McNabb and Westbrook play and say...
Prediction: Eagles, 24-17
Fantasy Love: McNabb, Hank Baskett (whos apparently dating Kendra Wilkinson), Matt Forte
Fantasy Hate: Greg Lewis, Kyle Orton

I'm going to wait until Monday for injury updates to predict the Monday Night game. Have a great weekend everyone.

Credibility Check
Last Week: 10-6
Season: 27-20
Predictions I Almost Nailed: Seahawks 31 - 13 (Actual: 37-13), 49ers 31-21 (Actual: 31-13)

Everyone just stay calm. We gotta KEEP our COMPOSURE!!

I understand that there are only 16 regular season games in the NFL and every game gets put under a microscope. And heading into Week Four (when there are already bye weeks) there are indeed a few teams that everyone can safely say their future's bright or they look worse than George Brett's pants after some bad crab legs. But overall, let's just slow things down a bit, take a step back and objectively look at the state of the league.

Okay, so there are four teams that have no business even taking the field for the rest of the year. Kansas City, St. Louis, Detroit and Cleveland (wtf Braylon Edwards! catch a friggin pass)are seriously just embarrassing themselves and while the Bengals are also 0-3, Cincy at least showed some heart yesterday against the Giants.

Looking at most teams, it appears that there's going to be a lot of 7-9 and 8-8 teams. We can't have teams finishing 15-1 and 14-2 every year. Injuries have already ravaged a number of rosters. It kinda takes the wind of out the "excitement sails." (I don't really know what that means.) For instance, that Philly/Pittsburgh game yesterday? How insanely boring was that? Westbrook, McNabb and Roethlisberger were all knocked out of the game with only McNabb coming back. 15-6 was the final score. Was it great defense or just poor execution offensively? I don't know about you folks, but watching Byron Leftwich, Correll Buckhalter and (gasp!) Matt Cassel doesn't exactly find my lost remote. Also, back up quarterback play leads to lack of production from wide receivers. Tomlinson, Colston, the list goes on. Yeah, I realize that it's the nature of the beast in the NFL that key players get hurt every year and some miss significant time. But three games into the year? The Brady injury might have been a bit of foreshadowing in relation to the entire season.

Getting back to individual teams, Dallas has looked pretty damn good. But some of the other undefeateds haven't won me over by any means. The defending champs barely beat Washington and Cincinnati and beat up on the Rams. Wow. Denver? They put up an ass ton (actual measurement) of points but were a blown call away from being 2-1. Tennessee's competition so far has been laughable. Buffalo...hmmmm. They have proved they can win close ones and Lynch hasn't even rushed for over 100 yards in a game yet. Their defense and special teams are pretty impressive. Definitely a team to keep an eye on but I wouldn't exactly put a lot of money down on them each week. If I had any.

Yes, I'm getting to the RB23 show. What else can you say really? With Brady out, the New England defense needed to put the rest of the team on their back and power through the regular season in the hopes that Cassel would improve and give the Pats a decent shot in the playoffs. Yesterday, Bill Belichick's team flat out stunk. In every way. One would think that Brady's injury would inspire them to step up and be even more motivated than a team that barely missed out on a 19-0 season. If that's even possible. But nope, they were beaten down essentially by one dude. Granted, he looked great doing it but after the first time he lines up for a direct snap, couldn't you, I don't know, adjust. Isn't that what Belichick specializes in? Being down 21-6 at half time ain't the worst situtation to be in at your home stadium.

But again. IT'S JUST ONE GAME. The Patriots are still 2-1 and the Dolphins are still 1-2. So much can happen between now and the end of the year. More stars can and probably will miss multiple games due to injury. J.T. O'Sullivan will remember that he's J.T. O'Sullivan. The Titans will play someone with a pulse. Come talk to me after Week 8 and maybe I'll listen to some of these proclamations.

Oh and then there's the "balance of power switching" argument. I can't stand to hear this in any sport, the NFL in particular. In the finals of all the major sports, it's still one team from the East/AFC, etc. versus one team from the West/NFC, etc. And in football, they only play one game for the trophy! Any Given Sunday right? So what if the NFC East might have three (four?) teams with double digit wins. How many of them are getting to the Super Bowl? It gives the countless drones on all the tv shows to run their yap about but at the end of the day, it's meaningless. Besides, who really pays attention to football until after the World Series anyway...

I'm back! (Sort of...)

Who knew it would take so damn long to get the "internets" out here? Anyway, starting Monday, I'll be back with regular posts. Until then, I thought I'd pass this along.

P.S. It's sunny and 80 everyday...

All Aboard the GUS BUS!

This is the state of the NFL in 2008. The San Diego Chargers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and Minnesota Vikings are 0-2. The Carolina Panthers, Buffalo Bills, and Arizona Cardinals are 2-0. The Seahawks have lost so many WRs they just signed/traded for Koren Robinson and Keary Colbert. Tom Brady is gone, Peyton Manning has played one quarter of effective football, Kyle Orton is a starting quarterback, and a team with Super Bowl aspirations just put Gus Frerotte in the starting lineup. I'm having fun, how about you?

Let me just say I actually support the Gus Bus. He's not great, but he's also not going to cost them games like Tavarius already has. He'll hold down the fort and let that running game and defense do their thing. I know this analogy is overused, but he'll be like Trent Dilfer for that Ravens team in 2000 or Brad Johnson for the Bucs in '02. Speaking of which, why didn't they just keep Brad Johnson? Anyway... here's this week's picks.

Cheifs @ Falcons (-4.5)
Tyler Thigpen, that's all I need to say. Must be odd for Atlanta to play a game where their QB is CLEARLY better.
Prediction: Falcons, 24-10
Fantasy Love: The Burner, Dwayne Bowe, Roddy White
Fantasy Hate: Larry Johnson, either QB

Raiders @ Bills (-7.5)
The Raiders are garbage and Trent Edwards is hitting his stride. The Bills D-Line should cause troubles for the Raider passing game, as if they needed any help. In Buffalo, this should be an easy one.
Prediction: Bills, 27-14
Fantasy Love: Lee Evans, Marshawn Lynch, Run DMC
Fantasy Hate: Jamarcus Russel, Ronald Curry

Bucs @ Bears (-3)
It's weird... I really like the concept of Tampa Bay this year, but whenever I look at their individual players, I am wholly uninspired. Whatever, I still think they're better than the Chicago, and will win this one in a close, low scoring game.
Prediction: Tampa Bay, 14-13
Fantasy Love: Earnest Graham, Matt Forte
Fantasy Hate: Kyle Orton, Brian Greise

Panthers @ Vikings (EVEN)
Carolina is 2-0, Minny is 0-2... I feel like each team is going to play closer to their true nature today and the Gus Bus will right the Vikings' ship. Look for Big Purple's running game to keep the Panters pass rush on their heels, and for Delhomme to have his worst game so far this year.
Prediction: Minnesota, 21-17
Fantasy Love: Purple Jesus, Bernard Berrian, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith
Fantasy Hate: Jake Delhomme, Sidney Rice

Dolphins @ Patriots (-10.5)
There are a lot of great matchups this week. Unfortunately I won't see many of them because I'll be at this game. It's pretty bad when Brady's out and you're still a double-digit underdog to the Pats. I agree with Kate that they'll let Cassel air it out this week and see what he can do. Fantasy owners of Randy Moss... hold your breath...
Predition: Patriots win, 23-10
Fantasy Love: Sammy Morris, Wes Welker, Matt Cassel
Fantasy Hate: Ricky Brown, Ronnie Williams, anybody in teal

Bengals @ Giants (-11)
Wow, I know this was obvious a while ago, but both defending Conference Champions couldn't have asked for an easier first 3 weeks to open the year. Carson Palmer's knees + Giants defensive front = not good for business. What's sad is we're going to have to wait until Week 8 until the Giants play a defense that can make Eli Manning look bad.
Prediction: Giants win, 34-20
Fantasy Love: Eli Manning, Plaxico Burress, Brandon Jacobs, Housh
Fantasy Hate: Carson Palmer, Chris Perry, Amani Toomer

Texans @ Titans (-4.5)
I think Tennessee is the better team, but the Texans are fresh from an unexpected week off and have the kind of defensive front that will leave less running lanes open for Chris Johnson and get in the face of the immobile Kerry Collins. Matt Schaub will have to work the deep ball to stretch the defense out, but I'd suggest he stays away from Cortland Finnegan, who already has 3 picks and 4 passes defended.
Prediction: Houston, 21-17
Fantasy Love: Andre Johnson, Matt Schaub, Chris Johnson
Fantasy Hate: Kerry Collins, Justin McCareins, Lendale White, Ahman Green

Cardinals @ Redskins (-1)
You know what? Screw it, I'm going to go with the Cards here. Kurt Warner is playing like he has an HGH feeding tube, and although they're not quite as bad, it's not like Warshington (as McCain would say) is a huge step up in difficulty from the 49ers and Dolphins. It's hard to find a road team to like this week, so I'm going to back a road team I'm not necessarily in love with. Also, Jason Campbell... I'm not sold.
Prediction: Arizona, 28-17
Fantasy Love: Kurt Warner, Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald, Clinton Portis
Fantasy Hate: Jason Campbell, Edgerrin James, Antwan Randel-El

Lions @ 49ers (-3)
Oh god, Oh god, who really cares about Mike Martz anymore. He isn't relevant, please stop talking about him. Stop saying that because he coached in Detroit last year that he understands their defense at all. Mike Martz doesn't believe in defense so he wasn't in on those meetings. Also, both of these teams suck. Count me out for watching this one.
Prediction: Hell, I dunno, San Fran? Let's say, 31-21? Whatever
Fantasy Love: Frank Gore, I guess? Maybe Bryant Johnson?
Fantasy Hate: Kevin Smith, Arnaz Battle (sorry Kate)

Rams @ Seahawks (-6.5)
Seriously, we have not had a single road favorite so far. Anyway, after last week where I didn't even know Seattle lost until like Wednesday, it's safe to say I'm not watching the NFC West closely. Still, I don't see them going 0-2 in the division. Plus the Rams are horrible. Old friend come new again Koren Robinson (henceforth known as Ko-Rob) will surely lead my fantasy team the Seahawks to a righteous victory.
Prediction: Seattle, 31-13
Fantasy Love: Koren Robinson, Matt Hasselbeck, Orange Julius, Torry Holt
Fantasy Hate: Stephen Jackson, Dane Looker, Keary Colbert

Saints @ Broncos (-6)
Another game where I'm kind of going against my gut to even out my home/road picks. Also, I don't think the Broncos are as good as they've looked so far. Their passing game will still do work, but the Saints will light them up.
Prediction: Saints, 34-27
Fantasy Love: Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Devery Henderson, Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall
Fantasy Hate: David Patten, Any single Broncos RB

Steelers @ Eagles (EVEN)
Here's one of the juiciest games of the week... the battle for Pennsylvania. Now usually my AFC-bias would make me go for the boys in yellow here, but the Eagles actually look kind of scary-good. It's not a confident pick, but I think McNabb continues to play out of his mind and Westbrook busts loose again, while Willie Parker has a hard time and the Big Ben doesn't quite keep up. I expect a game just as exciting as last Monday Night.
Prediction: Eagles win, 37-34
Fantasy Love: McNabb, Westbrook, Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, DeSean Jackson
Fantasy Hate: Willie Parker, Hank Baskett, Santonio Holmes

Jaguars @ Colts (-4)
This was supposed to be a wrestle for power in the AFC South, but instead is a matchup of one team that's reeling and another who's lucky to be 1-1. I told you before the season that Garrard would struggle, and he's complied with 3 picks and 8 sacks in his first 2 games. I really don't see why people think Jerry Porter will help right the ship, but MJD and Fred Taylor should see more running lanes in this game than they've had so far. Still, I think Peyton will carry over from his strong second half last week while playing at home.
Prediction: Colts win, 27-17
Fantasy Love: Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, MJD
Fantasy Hate: David Garrard, Jerry Porter, Joseph Addai

Browns @ Ravens (+1.5)
Finally! Our first road favorite! I actually think they'll represent it well, too. I'll agree with Kate that they're way overhyped compared to their output, but I still think this will be a good week for them.
Prediction: Browns win, 24-13
Fantasy Love: Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow
Fantasy Hate: Willis McGahee, Jamal Lewis

Cowboys @ Packers (+1.5)
The Cowboys are arguably the best team in the NFL, and the Packers are arguably one of the most pleasant surprises. The Cheesheads are starting to realize their team wasn't just good because of #4, they're actually very explosive on offense without him. Speaking of explosive, have you seen Terrell Owens yet this year? Both of these teams can light it up, and I expect nothing less under the bright lights this week.
Prediction: Cowboys win, 34-31
Fantasy Love: Romo, Owens, MBIII, Witten, Rodgers, Jennings, Driver, Grant... should I go on?
Fantasy Hate: Brandon Jackson (not yet), Donald Lee

Jets @ Chargers (-5.5)
I think something is wrong with the Chargers. They've lost two wacky games after leading in the final minute, I think there might be a curse. There's only one solution, hype this song up way more. Play it after the coin toss. After every first down. Play it during all TV timeouts. It's your only hope. Oh, or play the Jets (who stink). We are about to see the rule of Favre being good on Monday Night broken.
Prediction: Chargers take it, 24-20 (with Bretty throwing a last second INT in the endzone).
Fantasy Love: Ladanian Tomlinson (duh), Phil Rivers, Chris Chambers, Thomas Jones
Fantasy Hate: Brett Favre, Girl Parts, Vincent Jackson

Good luck to all, and remember... I suck at this!
Last Week: 10-5
Season: 17-14

Black Thursday

Lots of sad news to report:

Item 1: Chicks league team is now a disappointing 0-2.. 11th of 12 overall. Things are not going well, so shakeups have to be made, which leads me to..

Item 2: Goodbye, Kenny Watson. I expected so much from you! What happened!? Chris Perry was supposed to be injured by now, allowing you to step in and save the Bengals season! Instead we had a pretty uneventful run in which you scored three total fantasy points, so your time with Team Katerade is over. Hopefully some other chick picks you up so you can go get your fantasy luggage stolen by her old running back.

Item 3: I am not at all proud of this, but desperate times... I entered the Battle Zone. The 49ers are up against the Lions this week, so I think he'll get lots of looks from O'CasualDiningRestaurant.

Item 4: Legit QB controversy this week, as I have Rodgers vs. Dallas or Roethlisberger vs. Philly. Right now I am leaning toward Big Ben because I am concerned Rodgers will not excel against an actual defense, but still on the fence. Input much appreciated!