In not-so breaking news, Jay Cutler can't really accept the fact that the Denver Broncos and new head coach Josh McDaniels may have been looking for, perhaps, a better option at quarterback. Since talks of a possible trade involving teams such as Tampa Bay, Detroit, and of course, New England, Jay Cutler has been giving the Broncos the silent treatment. The Denver front office has attempted to reach out and talk to Cutler about this, but Cutler's response was "Talk to the hand cause the face don't wanna listen".
I'm sure whenever Jay Cutler decides to talk to the Broncos again, the conversation will go something like this.
Jay Cutler: I can't believe you guys tried to trade me. Are you aware I'm stronger, faster, and smarter than John Elway?
Denver Broncos: You're really not.
JC: I'm like rubber, you're like glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and...
DB: Look kid, you showed us a lot of potential, and I know you really feel like you earned the starting role a while back, but beating the ghost of Jake Plummer isn't saying a whole lot.
JC: But I threw for the third highest amount of yards in the league last season. I'm a machine! I'm a beast! I'm a beast machine!
DB: Yeah, but you were also second only to Brett Favre in interceptions. And Brett Favre is pretty much handed the distinction of having the most interceptions before the season even begins. Do you know that Brett Favre actually had to intentionally throw four interceptions last season just because he was worried you'd take his title?
Jay Cutler sticks his fingers inside his ears and begins humming obnoxiously loud.
JC: I'm not listening...
DB: Also, you have absolutely no comprehension of field leadership. That's why we were looking at Matt Cassel.
JC: But HE'S A SYSTEM QUARTERBACK!
DB: At least he IS a quarterback. You're just a double chinned cry baby who creates his own hype because no one else will anymore. Also, that SYSTEM that you mentioned, I'm not sure if you're aware, but this guy here, Josh McDaniels...well he's sort of partly responsible for that system. And the thing about McDaniels' system, is that it doesn't involve collapsing midway through the season in the worst division in football. The Chargers and referees literally HANDED you the season, and you still blew it.
JC: I don't have two chins!
DB: Yes, you do. Listen, I know you don't understand that football is a business, but here's the thing. We, as an organization, want to have the best group of guys out there to help us win a Super Bowl. The people of Denver already hate you, and you're not very good at your job. If we're going to vouch for you and say that you're our guy even though you've already established you're more interested in your own stats than winning football games, you need to stop bitching about this and move in.
JC: Make me!
DB: We don't make overrated tools with far too big an ego for their own good, we trade them.
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