A couple quick NFL notes

1) Has anybody paid close attention to the Wrangler commercials, featuring "The Wrangler" himself, Brett Favre? If you do, you'll notice one important thing.... this pickup game of football features Brett Favre at QB, a guy running out to catch a pass... and 10 guys running into each other at the line of scrimmage. There are no other WRs, and there are no defenders trying to cover the one guy heading out to catch the pass. What the hell kind of pickup game is that? I've never played a pickup game of football where there was more than 1 offensive and defensive lineman... a guy to snap the ball and a guy trying to rush the QB, nevermind the BULK of the players rubbing up against each other at the line of scrimmage.

Not only that, but they have one shot of the receiver diving to make a catch for a touchdown, and slamming into a giant mud puddle. So Brett Favre, "the greatest QB of all time," can't even hit a receiver in a pickup game when there's nobody covering him without the receiver needing to dive? And Brett leads him right into the one mud puddle on the field? What a jerk.


2) It's shocking how okay I am with the Brady injury already. I'm actually getting excited to see how they respond and how the year plays out. If anything, it snapped me out of the Super Bowl coma and is making football interesting again. I'm not foolish enough to believe the Pats are still favorites to win it all... but I've tried the "favorites" thing, and it's honestly less fun than being the scrappy underdog after a while.

Oh, and to everyone who's saying the Patriots are toast because they don't have Tom Brady now... most of you are picking Minnesota as a Super Bowl contender, and their QB is Tavaris Jackson. Seriously, did you see that guy last night? At least Cassel will be able to look at more than 1 receiver before he pulls the ball down and frantically tries to run for the first down, and he'll probably hook slide instead of taking 10 linebacker blows to the skull each game.

Worst Case Scenario

A couple weeks ago, I met up with my sister and her husband for a last-call drink at a bar near my place. We chatted, drank, and caught up a bit... a pleasant evening overall. Then, as we were saying our goodbyes, my sister smiled at me sweetly... flicked her wrist... and swung her purse directly into my balls. While I crumbled like a cheap card table under a certain friend of mine, she let out a short laugh and skipped away with my brother-in-law. Really, I should have seen it coming.

That's really the best way I can explain how Super Bowl XLII felt. Just as I had let my guard down after my sister and I getting along so well as adults the past few years... leaving myself wide open for such a stomach-churning ball tap... the Patriots (and Sox) success in the past decade caused me to let my guard down, forgetting that being a lifetime Boston sports fan means you're always vulnerable to an out-of-nowhere blunt force blow to the testes. The guys out there know the feeling I'm talking about... that hollow, helpless, sick feeling in your stomach that feels like it will never go away.

So this morning all I can think of is that, if after I recovered from my sister's deftly placed purse swing, just as I was getting back to my feet and preparing myself to walk away, she had ran up and steel-toed me in the kidney.... that would be the equivalent of Brady's knee buckling yesterday. Just as we, as Patriots fans, finally felt healed enough to put the past behind us and start the season with new optimism... this next blow came so swift and so early that we didn't even cry out in pain. We just winced, shook our heads, and stared vacantly at each other.

My dad was at the game, and asked me to call when I heard any updates. After that ticker came crawling across the screen, I called him and told him the news... "It looks like an ACL, he's probably done for the year." What worried me the most was that my father, who is never at a loss for words, came back with such a short and emotionless answer. "Well, I guess now we'll find out how good they really are. Thanks for calling, I'm glad it was you that told me." Then good night, and the conversation was over. Maybe it was that churning stomach feeling that kept him from wanting to talk longer, but the whole situation made me uncomfortable.


That's all I can really put into this right now, I'll be back with more about week 1 later, including how I'll be talking myself out of believing this is the end for the 2008 Pats. Keep your heads up, everyone... and don't forget to ice those balls.


EDIT:
Might as well get these up before the games start, even though they will help nobody. Just want to get them on record...

Vikings @ Packers (EVEN)
This game has big implications in the NFC. Green Bay and Minnesota have been looked at as the favorites to win the North, but with Chicago stunning Indy last night there's even more pressure to get an early win in the division. Both teams are really tough on defense, and both have huge potential on offense... but I'm gonna stick with Purple Jesus and say the Vikes win, 24-21.
Fantasy Love: Adrian Peterson, Ryan Grant, Greg Jennings
Fantasy Hate: Tavarius Jackson, Chester Taylor, Sidney Rice

Broncos @ Raiders (+1.5)
Another division battle, but this one's much less interesting. Most people will be watching to see if Run DMC will be the next ADP, and if the Broncos offense can get in rhythm without Brandon Marshall. I'll be tuning in to see if Ronald Curry will catch any passes or if I'm a total moron for starting him on my fantasy team. I've gone back and forth on this one, but I'll go with the home team and the better running game... let's say Oakland, 17-14.
Fantasy Love: Run DMC, Huggy Bear Jr., Tony Scheffler
Fantasy Hate: JaMarcus Russel, Jay Cutler, Darrel Jackson, Eddie Royal, Ronald Curry :(

They ain't gettin' any younger...

I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I'm going to have to wake up at 10:00am every Sunday and will be stuck watching the Chargers and Raiders. No more copious amounts of KFC and Mountain Dew while checking one of three laptops for constant fantasy updates. Yes, my NFL viewing habits will drastically change this season, but I'll just have to fight through it. Speaking of fighting through it (those transitions, just flawless), two of the best quarterbacks of all time are dealing with injuries heading into September. Both are absolutely irreplaceable, more so than any other players in the entire league. Both have won championships and have put up record setting numbers. They are both future Hall of Famers. And both currently have their head coaches forced to watch Matt Cassel and Jim Sorgi do...whatever it is that they do.


Peyton Manning answered all the doubters when he led the Colts to victory in Super Bowl 41. The Dan Marino comparisons were washed away and his legacy cemented. Having Marvin Harrison in his prime didn't hurt of course, but the 94.7 career QB rating speaks for itself. However, Manning is entering his 12th NFL season and turned 32 years old in March. He had surgery on his left knee back in July to remove an infected bursa sac. While he is only expected to miss at most the first regular season game, it's never a comforting feeling to have your starting quarterback have any kind of surgery less than two months before the season starts. How tentative will he be coming back? While his "laser rocket arm" might be healthy, it's Manning's knees that will continue to give him problems throughout the rest of his career. I don't know if there will ever be another quarterback like him who can call every single play right at the line. It's essentially running a hurry up offense every down. The Colts have been fortunate that guys like Reggie Wayne and Joseph Addai have emerged as premiere players in the league, but Indianapolis is a .500 team at best without Peyton. And in the AFC (and the AFC South in particular) that just ain't gonna cut it.

Tom Brady has a "foot injury." The last time he had a "foot injury" the New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl. In typical Belichick/New England fashion, no one is saying a damn thing about it. Brady turned 31 a couple of weeks ago but already has three Super Bowl rings. He's rich, he's marketable, and he's banging one of the hottest, richest women on the planet. So things aren't too bad overall for the former Wolverine. But at least with Manning, we know what the hell is wrong with him. Brady actually let it slip (against orders no doubt) that it is the same foot (right) that was hurt in January. And then of course there's the ubiquitous shoulder injury that has been listed on the injury report every week for what seems like forever. The Boston Globe reports that he did return to practice yesterday and may even play in the Pats' third preseason game. We'll see about that. After their third Super Bowl win, I thought it would be a smart move for Brady to retire right then and there. Of course, we wouldn't have been privy to the awesomeness that was last season. But does the New England front office see the writing on the wall? They drafted 6'6 QB Kevin O'Connell from San Diego State back in April. Between you and me, I don't see Matt Cassel or Matt Gutierrez ever successfully running an NFL offense.

Now if you're an avid NFL fan, I'm sure you're waiting in line to laugh at me and tell me that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are second and third on the list for most consecutive starts among active QBs. I'm well aware. But with all that they have accomplished so far, and with the injuries starting to pile up, where does the duo go from here? Sure, both of their teams have a great shot at making the Super Bowl again this year, but what about 2009? 2010? Personally, I don't want to see either hang around for too long like some guys we know who will be throwing balls 10 yards past Jerricho Cotchery this season... Early 30s in NFL years is like late 40s in actual human time. (Probably way older for running backs and linemen.) So while I stumble out of bed earlier than anyone should on a Sunday just to watch sports, I'll have to rely mostly on highlights to follow two of the greatest players of all time try to stay healthy and grab another ring. Here's to watching Philip Rivers games instead...

A Few Quick Words About a Sack Machine

So I'm a little late on commenting, but I couldn't let this go by without saying a few words. This past weekend, my sister got married. Beautiful ceremony, great guy, drunken renditions of Livin On a Prayer all night long. It was truly a great day.... and I almost missed it. The reason? My father threatened to skip the event to drive to Canton, Ohio and see Andre Tippett get inducted to the NFL Hall of Fame in person. And there's no way I would have let him go without me. I'd like to think we'd still wear our tuxes, since they'd been paid for and all... but alas, we missed the induction and attended the wedding. Considering the potential wrath of the women in our lives, it was probably a smart decision.

This is how much #56 means to diehard, long-term Patriots fan... the kind that grew up wearing big red Starter jackets with a dude squatting over a football on it. Tippett's jersey was the first I remember seeing in my house*. His biggest years came in '84 and '85, where he amassed 35 sacks and was the leader of a defense that helped the surprising Patriots to the Super Bowl. Of course, I was too young to enjoy that time, so my memories come from a darker era.

Over the 5 year span from 1989 to 1993, New England won a total of 19 games. I remember this very clearly, since my family bought season tickets just before the 1991 season. Tipp was one of the few holdovers from the superbowl team, and while at the end of his career still picked up 27.5 sacks in the 4 seasons he played (he missed 1989 with an injury). That brought his career total to an even 100, which I like because I'm lazy and even numbers are easier to remember.

Some people will try to tell you that Tippett was "the LT of the AFC." And I'm talking about the REAL LT here, not the crybaby Tomlinson. But that's really a discredit to Andre, because while Lawrence Taylor was an insane coke-head with a mean streak and always seemed to try to hurt people... Tipp was as professional as they come. He wasn't trying to break your bones, he was simply trying to DOMINATE the other team in the most efficient way possible. He worked hard and kept to himself, and it's great to see the Hall recognize a player who wasn't always just trying to get recognized.

Now if we can just get Bruce Armstrong (6 Pro Bowls) and Ben Coates (499 catches, 50 TDs) to the hall, my childhood heroes will be properly represented**.



*Other jerseys we have: Ben Coates, Drew Bledsoe, Curtis Martin, Chris Slade, Willie McGinnest, Andy Katzenmoyer (oof), Tedy Bruschi (dad), Richard Seymour (mine for the past 7 years), Adam Vinatieri (mom), Troy Brown (sister), Stephen Gostkowski (mom... I shit you not)

**Note: I accept at this point that Drew Bledsoe will probably not be getting the call to the Hall despite being 5th in completions and attempts, 7th in yards, and 13th in TD's all time... but that dude was my idol growing up. Also, C-Mart is getting to the Hall, but he played way longer for the Jets than the Pats, so I can't take claim to him. Ask Billy about him some time.

Lamont... shut it.

I love this time of year. The sun is shining, vacation time is flowing like wine, and NFL Training Camps are opening up. The best part is that, just when you've resigned yourself to your team's current rosters, fun little nuggets of talent pop up on your team with the potential to change the landscape. (This is also why I take any fantasy football advice given before August 10th with a grain of salt). First there was Jason Taylor to the Redskins. Then Jeremiah Shockey was traded to a place where, I'm sure, a man of his character will have no temptations to get himself in trouble: New Orleans. All interesting because they involve big names... but none that interesting because they have nothing to do with my favorite team.

But hark! The Patriots have signed Lamont Jordan! I know what you're saying "big deal, the dude has only played in 21 games in the past two years, rushing for under 1000 yards total and losing his starting job to Huggy Bear's son." While that may be true/hilarious, I love this signing because the Patriots won't be depending on him to be a starting back. Jordan is a bruiser, a run-over-you type back, who Oakland thought could carry a full-time load after he backed up Curtis Martin for a few years. I never saw what they were thinking there, and Jordan flopped as a feature back, but he fits perfectly into this system.

Laurence Maroney (or Lo-Mo, as I've been desperately trying to nickname him) is the main back, but his injury history means you need plenty of insurance behind him. Kevin Faulk, while not jammin to "Lollipop," is your shifty 3rd-down and receiving back. The power back last year was Sammy Morris. He did a great job in the first 6 games of last year, averaging 4.5 yards a carry, but with the severity of his injury it makes sense to bring in some insurance. Health Evans and Kyle Eckel (who, I have heard from a reliable source, is "a BEAST") have filled in well when they have to, but Jordan gives them a lot more potential at the position. The Pats continue to take low-risk gambles on high-potential veterans that nobody seems to want. It's worked so often in the past (Dillon, Seau, Moss) it's hard to believe Jordan won't bring some value to the team.



P.S: If the photo above means nothing to you... purchase the first season of Frisky Dingo on DVD, section off a Sunday this August, and watch it in full. Your life will be changed for the better. (ED. NOTE - Lamont doesn't appear until the second season of Frisky Dingo which is not on dvd yet. But watch the first season anyway. Still life changing.)

The Sky is Falling! The SKY is Falling!!!

Another one bites the dust. As you've probably heard, Kevin Faulk plead no-contest to misdemeanor marijuana possession on Wednesday. This comes just a week after the Patriots parted ways with special teamer Willie Andrews after he pointed his (illegal) gun in his girlfriend's face. That's the third Patriots player brought up on charges since The Game That Shall Not Be Mentioned, and everybody is saying one of two things, "Those Patriots sure are depressed about that loss! Look how much crime they're committing!", or "The Patriots are turning into a bunch of thugs because they got too cocky and started taking bad character guys"

Now I admit the timing of these incidents is suspicious, and my initial reaction was that it might be from some type of hangover from one of the most hyped NFL seasons ever. Let's look into the matter a bit closer shall we? Here are the incidents that have happened since the Super Bowl on February 3rd:

-Willie Andrews – February 5^th, 2008
Arrested for marijuana possession, ½ pound in his car.

-Kevin Faulk – February 26^th, 2008
Cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession, 4 joints in pocket at Lil Wayne concert.

-Nick Kaczur – June 4^th, 2008
Arrested for illegal possession of OxyContin pills, then helped in sting operation on dealer.

-Willie Andrews – June 30^th, 2008
Felony charges for illegal possession of a large capacity firearm and assault with a
dangerous weapon.

Let's address the Willie Andrews situation first. Andrews was a player who fell to the 7th Round of the 2006 draft despite being considered a speedy (4.38 40-yard dash) kick return specialist and DB, mostly because of character concerns. In '02 Andrews was sentenced to 30 days in jail for misdemeanor gun charges, which came just months after he was put on probation for "misdemeanor criminal mischief".... whatever the hell that is.* "Oh ho!" you might say, "I told you they were taking guys with character issues!" Yeah, except Willie kept his nose clean during 4 years of college in Texas(!!) and the Patriots only took a flyer on him in the 7th round, paying him a relatively measly $400k a year. He also stayed out of trouble for 2 full seasons before acting like an idiot twice in a 5 months span. The Patriots didn't make excuses for him though, they promptly cut him. He blew his chance and he's gone. Doesn't seem so bad to me.

Next comes Faulk. Back in February he was doing what any good Louisiana native does in the off-season... heading down to the Cajundome to see a Lil Wheezy concert. Security stopped him on the way to his suite for a "random search" and found 4 joints on his person. Now, I've never been to one, but I'm pretty sure they hand out 4 joints to anyone attending a Lil Wayne concert as they walk in the door. Either way, he passed a drug test so he won't have to go into the NFL's substance abuse program. His penalty? 40 hours of community service and a $300 fine plus court fees. At a Wheezy concert, it could have been much worse. At least he didn't make it rain.

The only story here that actually worries me is Nick Kaczur. Weed is one thing, but Oxy's no joke, and according to the Boston.com report, "Kaczur has told authorities that he had been buying oxycodone ... every few days in batches of a hundred since November 2007." Now, we can assume Big Nick wasn't taking 100 Oxy's every few days, because he's not dead... so that means he was either A) lying, or B) distributing. Considering all the pressure on the team this year, it's not out of the realm of possibility that players started taking intense pain medication to dull any pain that would keep them off the field. I hope this isn't true, and I hope the SB XLII collapse wasn't a result of built up fatigue from ignoring all the pain, but it's certainly a possibility. Let's hope that, either way, this arrest will keep anything like that from happening in the future.

Here's my real issue with all of the coverage of this situation. The Patriots are now part of the NFL stereotype as a trouble-making, image problem-having organization. Off-season arrests for misdemeanor charges for drug possession and DUI's pour in, and people roll their eyes and say "there goes another NFL thug." While I can't deny these crimes are occurring, and I can't defend their actions, I don't really feel the reputation is well deserved. To see why, let's look at the number of active roster spots in each of the four major sports (yes, I'm including the NHL):

Active Roster Spots by League:
NFL: 1696
MLB: 750
NHL: 690
NBA: 360

That's 1696 active NFL players to 1800 active MLB, NHL, and NBA players COMBINED. If it seems like more NFL players are getting arrested, maybe that's because there are so many more guys representing the league! I have a feeling if you took a sampling of seventeen-hundred employees from any field... be it engineers, lawyers, journalists, etc... odds are there's going to be enough morons in a group that large to make the group as a whole look bad. That's just the way the odds work out in our society.

One more reason I can see for seemingly high NFL arrests? The down-time. Not only do NFL players have the most time between games, they also have one of the longest off-seasons. In other leagues, you don't have as much time to go home and goof off, plain and simple. Any time you combine the amount of money these guys make with the amount of free time they have to go spend it... bad things are going to happen. Just look at what actors do when they're not making movies. Again, I'm not defending the crimes, just trying to explain why they seem to happen so often.

So there you have it. The NFL does not have a crime problem. The NFL has a population problem. In a group that large, there are going to be people who screw up and make everyone else look bad. The important thing is that you react accordingly and don't allow people like that to represent you as a whole, and the NFL is doing a better and better job of it.** Now please everybody shut up about it.


* Via Wikipedia: "Mischief, in criminal law, is an offense against property that does not involve conversion. It typically involves any damage, defacement, alteration, or destruction of property." My best guess? The old flaming bag of poo on the doorstep trick.

** Cowboys not included